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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985157">Having a Nightmare and Seeking Comfort</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Lover23/pseuds/Malec_Lover23'>Malec_Lover23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Honey you should know that I could never go on without you [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Has Feelings, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alec Lightwood has Nightmares, Canon-Typical Violence, Comforting Magnus Bane, Crying Alec Lightwood, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Sweet Alec Lightwood, Sweet Magnus Bane, he gets them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:21:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Lover23/pseuds/Malec_Lover23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec finding the confidence to do the things he’s always wanted to do with a love he thought he could never have.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Honey you should know that I could never go on without you [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105853</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Having a Nightmare and Seeking Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m on a roll today :) </p><p>I hope you enjoy this update and please be cautious as it mentions some blood and stabbing but it’s just violence in the nightmare!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec comes and he immediately feels warm, which is strange. Normally, his room is always cold and not even the thick blanket he’s had since he was a child can stave away the chilly atmosphere of the institute. </p><p>But then he feels the weight of an arm wrapped around him and the security of being entwined with Magnus begins to bring him out of his nightmare. </p><p>He lifts his hand up and sees his fingers still trembling, and when he closes his eyes he can only see the dagger being thrusted into his siblings’ stomachs, the hot thick blood pooling onto the floor. </p><p>Even Magnus’ constant calming presence can’t stop the sob that escapes his dry lips. </p><p>Magnus shifts beside him, tightening his grip around his waist as he sighs contently and relaxes. </p><p>Alec turns his head toward the window, glancing at the curtains swaying from the ajar window letting in cool wind and moonlight. Waking Magnus up would be a sigh of weakness, a sigh that he’s not the warrior he’s been trained to be. Letting emotion crack through that wall that seems to be steel but it really more like glass as it deteriorates over the years is such a deficiency to a Shadowhunter. </p><p>Oh, but how much he wants the comfort that comes with Magnus’ soft tone and gentle touch. How much he wants to get lost in the foreign feeling of affection simply because he’s wanted and loved. He’s spent far too long not getting what he wants. </p><p>“Magnus?” He whispers in the silent room, immediately feeling as if he were yelling. </p><p>Magnus makes a sound of acknowledgment, but he’s still mostly asleep as he merely cuddles closer to Alec.</p><p>“Magnus, please. Wake up, Magnus.” Alec continues, feeling the hot tears fall down his cheeks, running down his neck as he trembles. </p><p>“S’ wrong?” Magnus finally stirs, stretching out his legs and then lifting his head. </p><p>And then Alec breaks, because there are so many different answers to Magnus’ question and all of them come back to Alec’s baggage and his worthlessness and his trauma.</p><p>“What’s wrong, darling? Did you have a nightmare?” Magnus asks again, more on the lines of fully awake than the haziness of being half awake. </p><p>Alec nods and attempts to compose himself, looking away from Magnus’ sympathetic bright eyes because that’s making him even more upset. </p><p>But as always, Magnus knows. He takes Alec’s hand and says, “It’s okay to be upset, Alexander. It is okay to cry when you experience something traumatic, whether it was in a dream or not. Crying isn’t a form of weakness, it’s a sign of being strong for too long.” </p><p>He’s never resonated with something so much. Alec’s bottom lip starts to tremble and the first of many tears in Magnus’ presence begin to slide down his cheeks. He’s never cried in front of anyone, let alone the Magnus Bane, fabulous High Warlock of Brooklyn whose heart is just as big as his reputation. </p><p>Magnus grips his hand and says, “Let it out, Alexander. There’s nothing wrong with you.” </p><p>The thing about commands is that they are always so easy for any Shadowhunter to follow. It’s what they’re raised on. Go finish training. Go eat dinner. Go get geared up for patrol. </p><p>While Alec has never been told by his parents or mentors to cry, the command is nonetheless empowering as Magnus immediately gathers Alec in his arms, running a soothing hand down his back and the other one brushing away his tears every few moments. </p><p>Magnus hums a soothing song that Alec vaguely remembers on the radio playing low during dinner and presses kisses to Alec’s hair, his temple, his neck. </p><p>Alec soaks up the beautiful sound of Magnus’ voice, replacing that with the horrid sound of daggers submerging into skin and screams of pain. </p><p>“Wake me up whenever you need me, okay?” Magnus says a few minutes later, gently sifting nimble fingers through his hair. Alec nods and exhales against Magnus’ neck. “Even if you’re not here, call me. I’ll portal to you, or just stay on the phone until you feel better. You deserve a refuge and a person to talk to who doesn’t see you as less just because of a normal human occurrence.” </p><p>Alec knows it’s too early. Alec knows it’s going against every grain of suspicion and training that’s embedded in his mind. Alec knows Magnus may not feel the same. </p><p>Regardless, Alec wants to tell Magnus just how much he loves him. How much he adores every single hair on the warlock’s head. How much he is infatuated by every single sequin of glitter Magnus has on his outfit or on his eyelids. </p><p>He would, but he’s drifting back to sleep in warm and comforting arms faster than he ever has after a nightmare. </p><p>At the institute, he never went back to sleep after a nightmare. He’ll get up, get an early start to training if it’s appropriate, or sometimes he’ll go read in the library with coffee. Jace or Izzy might join him and offer him comforting words or a side embrace. </p><p>He never felt safe, but it was a nightmare so it didn’t really matter in the long run. He would go about his day and forget about it after a while until he experienced it again another night. </p><p>“What can I do to help you, my darling?” Magnus asks. </p><p>Alec looks up at him and smiles sleepily before tucking his face back in Magnus’ neck. </p><p>My precious Shadowhunter who has such a big heart. Magnus thinks, knowing he’s falling in the entrapments of a much more valuable silver coin in a pile of gold ones. </p><p>“Just don’t let go of me.” Alec murmurs. </p><p>Magnus scoffs softly and buries his face in Alec’s black curls because honestly, what’s a more beneficial option than clinging to his sweetheart for the entirety of eternity?</p>
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